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  • TOO MANY POETS

    Ignore the depressed, alcoholic and suicidal poets and those who teach students, they can’t write. Listen to the four-year-old, alone in the attic singing, “I’ve been working on the rainbow” quietly to himself.

  • THINK ABOUT IT

    1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 6 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? 7 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 8 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 9 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 10 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. 11 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 12 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

  • FASCINATING FACTS

    1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. 2. If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. 3. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. 4. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

  • SIGNS WORTH READING (REAL)

    Department Store TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a second hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

  • DID YOU EVER WONDER WHY…

    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

THE TRUTH AT LAST

Posted on September 13, 2008 by John

The Olsen Twins Really Live in Wisconsin

The Olsen Twins Really Live in Wisconsin

Did You Know 

 

 

 

Sauerkraut didn’t originate in Germany as many people mistakenly believe. It got its start in China about 1,000 years before it became popular in Germany.

 

Lenin wasn’t Lenin’s real name. It was one of 151 pseudonyms Vladimir Ilyich Ulanov used during his lifetime.

 

Venetian blinds were invented in Japan, not Venice.

 

It might surprise you to find out men are far more likely to be moved to tears by music than women.

 

Those who do public speaking don’t stand behind a podium. They stand behind a lectern. A podium is the platform or stage on which a speaker stands.

 

Smokey the Bear didn’t always have that famous name. Originally, he was Hot Foot Teddy.

 

Although people think otherwise, a newborn baby can’t shed tears.

 

The Douglas Fir isn’t a fir—it’s a pine tree.

 

Tennessee Williams wasn’t born in Tennessee. He was born in Columbus, Mississippi.

 

Shooting stars aren’t stars, of course. They’re meteors.

Filed under: Cartoons, Grandparents, Humor, John Lehman, Jokes, Questionable Advice, Stories | Tagged: , , , ,

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One Response

  1. Mortonite, on October 1st, 2008 at 6:36 am Said:

    For those interested in the truth about smokey the bear:

    http://www.voont.com/smokey

    You have been warned.

    Reply

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