QUICKIES
A boy asks his granny, ‘Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?’ Granny replies, F*ck the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!
Wife gets naked & asks hubby, ‘What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?’ Hubby looks her up & down and replies, ‘Your sense of humor!’
An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, ‘I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?’ He replies, ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid’.
Important Message about Growing Old
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Crap
I Forgot What
I was going to tell you
GRANDPA’S GREAT MEATLOAF
INGREDIENTS
2 pounds ground sirloin
1 lb. ground pork
1/2 red onion, chopped
1 cup Italian bread crumbs
salt to taste
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 cup shredded cheese ( your choice)
2 eggs
1 can cream of mushroom soup
2 strips of bacon
barbeque sauce
DIRECTIONS
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
- In a large bowl, combine all ingredients and mix well.
- Transfer to an ungreased 9×13 inch baking dish.
- Form into a loaf
- Place uncooked bacon on top
- Coat with barbeque sauce
- Bake at 350 degrees F for 1 hour
- Pig out
THIS IS A TEST
The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40years of age cannot do it.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I bet you can’t resist passing it on.
1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5.. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I bet you can’t resist passing it on.
Filed under: Cartoons, Grandparents, Humor, John Lehman, Jokes, Jokes, Humor, Stories, Grandparents, Questionable Advice, Cartoons, Questionable Advice, Stories | Tagged: Farts, Grandpa's Great Meatloaf, Granny, Growing Old, Harvard, LSD, Meatloaf, Psychiatry, Quickies, Sex, Test
Great post. Thanks. Though I don’t know why they always make jokes about us old folks farting.
It isn’t like grey hair – it’s not something you get as you grow older. You ever been in a classroom of grade 3 kids? Now those little buggers really let ‘em rip.
Aw, now I’m tired…