REALLY WEIRD HELPFUL HINTS

A sealed envelope – Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a Knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed.  (hmmm…) ================================== Use empty toilet paper rolls to store appliance cords. It keeps them Neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to. ================================== For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won’t refreeze. (wish I had known this for the last 40 years!) ================================== To remove old wax from a glass candle holder, put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out. ================================== Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!). ================================== Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt blue!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel. ================================== Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical. Now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get ’sharpened” this way! ================================== Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time! (Now, where to put the body?) LOL ================================== Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don’t wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak. ================================== Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on. ================================== Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels AND linen. ================================== Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning. ================================== To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm! ================================== To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet,! Simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top. ================================== Spray your TUPPERWARE with  nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won’t be any stains. ================================== Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. ================================== When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn’s’ natural sweetness ================================== Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. ================================== To get rid of itch from mosquito bites , try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief. ================================== Ants, ants, ants everywhere … Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So, get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march See for yourself. ================================== Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine. ================================== When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, and then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily. ==================================   Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer…….. Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China ================================== Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets. ================================== Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. ================================== Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary). ================================== Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, and then run the hot water. Makes you wonder about ingesting Alka Seltzer, doesn’t it?

TRIP TO THE LUMBER YARD

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint.  You have your old work clothes on.  You know the outfit – shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize! you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes.  Check yourself in the mirror and flex.  Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.  And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register..

In your 30’s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.  Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else.  Wash your hands and comb your hair.  Check yourself in the mirror.  Still got it.  Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.  The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40’s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.  Put on different  shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.  Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.  Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.  The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.  Change shoes because you don’t want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car.  Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat  The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.  Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy’s Bait & Beer Bar and it says, ‘I Got   Worms .’

In your 60’s:
Stop what you are doing.  No need for a hat anymore.  Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes.  The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50’s.   You hope you have on underwear, so nothing hangs out that hole in your pants.  The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t  have your glasses on so you’re not sure.

In your 70’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too.  Don’t even notice the dog  doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Start again.  Then stop again.  Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot.  Go to   Wal Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name.   You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.