QUESTIONABLE ADVICE

 Dementia Quiz     

 

Below  are four (4)  questions and a Bonus question   to  test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of  your logical processing.  
They  are stated simply so you should try to answer them  instantly.  
To  assure the accuracy of the results, you   should  not take your time  , but instead, answer each of them  immediately..    
 
OK?    
 

Let’s  find out just how clever you really  are….

Ready?  GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q’s and  A’s  )  

First  Question  :

You  are a participant in a race. You overtake the second  person. What position are you in?  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<  Answer  :  If you answered that you are first, then you are  absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and  you take his place, YOU are in second place!  Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the  second question, but don’t take as much time as  you took for the first question,  OK?  
      
econd  Question : If you overtake the last person, then you  are…?   

(scroll  down)  

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Answer  : If you answered that you are second to last, then you  are WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you  overtake the LAST person??

 

 

Third  Question :Very  tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head  only.  Do NOT use paper and pencil or a  calculator.  

 

 

Try  it.

Take  1000  and  add  40  to it. Now add another 1000  Now add  30  .  Add another  1000  .  Now add 20 .  Now add  another  1000  .  Now10 . What is the  total?  

Scroll down for  the correct answer……..  

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Did  you get  5000  ?The  correct answer is actually  4100  .If  you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator!  

Today  is definitely not your day, is it  ?     

Maybe  you’ll get the last question right…  Maybe…  

  

  

Fourth  Question:  

Mary’s  father has five daughters: 1.  Nana,  2.  Nene,  3.  Nini,   4.  Nono, and ? ??  What is the name of the fifth  daughter?

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Did  you Answer Nunu?  NO!  Of course it isn’t.

Her name  is  Mary!    Read the question  again!  

       
       
Okay,  now the Bonus round,i.e., a final chance to redeem  yourself:   

 

 

A  mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a  toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his  teeth he successfully expresses himself to the  shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind  man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of  sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he  wants?  

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It’s  really very simple

He opens  his mouth and ask for it…  
    
Does  your employer actually pay you to  think??  PASS  THIS  ON  TO FRUSTRATE THE  SMART  PEOPLE  IN YOUR LIFE!  

The Hip Grandpa Debunks Diets

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it ….don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.  

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to two, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good.

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: You’re not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What’s the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? Hello! Cocoa beans? Another vegetable! It’s the best feel good food around!

  

 The fat Jennifer Aniston agrees.

Calisthenics With Charlotte, the cat … 

Cat fitness really can be fun. However, it is important to start any fitness program only when you feel like it. Don’t let a few extra pounds intimidate you into becoming more active. The most important aspect of fitness is: when to start the program. The best time is at about 2 a.m. The house is quiet; there are no distractions. The warm-up is critical. Cats are experts at stretching, so this won’t be a problem. Start with a few wind sprints, full speed, toenails clicking on the tile or linoleum floors. A few low but loud growls will help you feel charged up.

Now it is time to add some eye-paw coordination work. Find a marble (the big steelies work even better) and roll that down the floor as the sprints continue. See how many times you can ricochet it off the wallboards before it disappears under the fridge. Finally, work on that upper body strength. Climbing is a great exercise. Use draperies, macramé plant hangers, or clothing on hangers. You can even find some carpeting on some basement walls. Backs of chairs work well, too.

Now put it all together. A speed sprint to the end of the hall! A race around the living room! Leap to the=2 0back of the rocking chair! Let the rebound launch you to the top of the swinging planter! Rock that baby! Feel those muscles work. Just as the hook pulls loose from the ceiling, dash to the bedroom and dive under the covers. Establish your alibi just in time to hear the crash of the plant to the floor below. 

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE  ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.  IT ALL GOES TO THE SAME PLACE ANYWAY.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS.  EVEN GEORGE WASHINGTON DID THIS!  REMEMBER TO  USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. 

 

Always keep several get well cards on the mantle…So if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you’ve been sick and unable to clean!